Sanitary landfill
A conversation with the roommate…
Roommate: “I’ve noticed you’ve been waking up with a stuffy nose lately, so have I.”
Me: “Well, I’ve been sick lately. I think that might have something to do with it.”
Roommate: “O, I thought it might be my fridge.” (Little background information. The fridge she is referring to has not been cleaned in about a year. It is absolutely disgusting and has black mold and various other organisms living in it. It is presently sitting in our room for no apparent reason other than collecting various molds and fungi. Maybe she is doing an experiment and she just hasn’t told me. Anyone in desperate need of healthy, flourishing mold spores please feel free to contact me anytime. We currently have a wide selection sure to fit anyone’s needs.) “Well I was thinking about cleaning it out anyways. I don’t want to use bleach because I think that may be a little too much.”
Me: I’m thinking to myself, “Yes, I believe you do need to clean out that mold infested petri dish you are calling a “Fridge”. I actually think it needs to be quarantined before any attempt at cleaning it begins. On second thought, just throw it out the window.” What I actually said went something more like, “I have some bathroom cleaner, you can borrow that if you want.”
Roommate: “Does that disinfect?”
Random conversation I walk in on tonight. “I think it was a little inappropriate for you to give her a urine sample…” I suspect this is a new step in the whole relationship process. I mean, how can you really know someone without a urine sample…It makes a lot of sense to me. “Sweetie, can you please pee in this little cup for me. Think of it as a bonding experience.” Could also be a foreshadowing of future events? Who knows?
Randomness from Dr. Farrell. We were going over mathematical formulas for population growth, and what not, and the subject of negative individuals came up. “Obviously you can’t have a negative individual, right? I mean what is a negative individual? O, Someone who complains a lot.”
I was teaching this non-science major biology class one semester and we were at Lake Woodruff. This one kid came late and he parked his car right next to the train tracks. For those of you who are not familiar with the area, the road into Lake Woodruff has a railroad crossing through it, although there are no gates or anything of that nature. Anyway, they are out looking at stuff and all of a sudden the sound of a train is heard. The kid looks at Dr. Farrell with concerned eyes, “Trains actually run on these tracks?” Dr. Farrell, “Ummm, yeah.” A frantic student makes a mad dash to try and save his car from the evil train. Luckily, the kid had parked at least a couple feet away from the tracks and as a result, his car was spared by the 1 foot of separation between the car and the train. Those crazy non-science majors…will they never learn?
Thoughts…
Sticky notes are one of the greatest inventions of our time. It’s right up there with toilet paper. I mean how one can go a day without using this marvelous invention is beyond my comprehension. I find that on a daily basis I have a need to use a little piece of paper with a small strip of sticky stuff (actual technical term employed by the sticky producers), which come in a wide selection of colors, shapes, and sizes, sure to fit any need. Need to write down a number, use a sticky. Need to remember something, use a sticky. Need a new poster for your room, compile a few hundred stickies. Need to write down the results of your spouses’ urine sample, a sticky is the only thing that will do. Thank goodness for stickies; life would be a whole lot less sticky without them.
Going with the whole sticky flow, I generally have a great fondness for any words that end in -icky. Sticky, picky, flicky, icky…it just has a great sound. Don’t you dare get all flicky with my sticky. I think you are just way too picky and frankly rather icky.
No clue...
If I were a battery and you were a bag of chips, I would be ever ready and you would be free-to-lay!
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness - Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.
A conversation with the roommate…
Roommate: “I’ve noticed you’ve been waking up with a stuffy nose lately, so have I.”
Me: “Well, I’ve been sick lately. I think that might have something to do with it.”
Roommate: “O, I thought it might be my fridge.” (Little background information. The fridge she is referring to has not been cleaned in about a year. It is absolutely disgusting and has black mold and various other organisms living in it. It is presently sitting in our room for no apparent reason other than collecting various molds and fungi. Maybe she is doing an experiment and she just hasn’t told me. Anyone in desperate need of healthy, flourishing mold spores please feel free to contact me anytime. We currently have a wide selection sure to fit anyone’s needs.) “Well I was thinking about cleaning it out anyways. I don’t want to use bleach because I think that may be a little too much.”
Me: I’m thinking to myself, “Yes, I believe you do need to clean out that mold infested petri dish you are calling a “Fridge”. I actually think it needs to be quarantined before any attempt at cleaning it begins. On second thought, just throw it out the window.” What I actually said went something more like, “I have some bathroom cleaner, you can borrow that if you want.”
Roommate: “Does that disinfect?”
Random conversation I walk in on tonight. “I think it was a little inappropriate for you to give her a urine sample…” I suspect this is a new step in the whole relationship process. I mean, how can you really know someone without a urine sample…It makes a lot of sense to me. “Sweetie, can you please pee in this little cup for me. Think of it as a bonding experience.” Could also be a foreshadowing of future events? Who knows?
Randomness from Dr. Farrell. We were going over mathematical formulas for population growth, and what not, and the subject of negative individuals came up. “Obviously you can’t have a negative individual, right? I mean what is a negative individual? O, Someone who complains a lot.”
I was teaching this non-science major biology class one semester and we were at Lake Woodruff. This one kid came late and he parked his car right next to the train tracks. For those of you who are not familiar with the area, the road into Lake Woodruff has a railroad crossing through it, although there are no gates or anything of that nature. Anyway, they are out looking at stuff and all of a sudden the sound of a train is heard. The kid looks at Dr. Farrell with concerned eyes, “Trains actually run on these tracks?” Dr. Farrell, “Ummm, yeah.” A frantic student makes a mad dash to try and save his car from the evil train. Luckily, the kid had parked at least a couple feet away from the tracks and as a result, his car was spared by the 1 foot of separation between the car and the train. Those crazy non-science majors…will they never learn?
Thoughts…
Sticky notes are one of the greatest inventions of our time. It’s right up there with toilet paper. I mean how one can go a day without using this marvelous invention is beyond my comprehension. I find that on a daily basis I have a need to use a little piece of paper with a small strip of sticky stuff (actual technical term employed by the sticky producers), which come in a wide selection of colors, shapes, and sizes, sure to fit any need. Need to write down a number, use a sticky. Need to remember something, use a sticky. Need a new poster for your room, compile a few hundred stickies. Need to write down the results of your spouses’ urine sample, a sticky is the only thing that will do. Thank goodness for stickies; life would be a whole lot less sticky without them.
Going with the whole sticky flow, I generally have a great fondness for any words that end in -icky. Sticky, picky, flicky, icky…it just has a great sound. Don’t you dare get all flicky with my sticky. I think you are just way too picky and frankly rather icky.
No clue...
If I were a battery and you were a bag of chips, I would be ever ready and you would be free-to-lay!
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness - Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.
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